So busy.

So, so busy is what I've been for the last few weeks and it's really been the best thing ever. I love that I have 847264705 things to do and nowhere near enough time to do them in.I love running places and being late and eating on the go and swearing at public transport that rocks up late or early. But I have a free weekend now and it's weird. Good, but weird. Well not a free weekend as such because it's Saturday and I'm busy on Sunday and Monday but I'm classifying this as free, comparatively. I had about 10 hours sleep last night, got home, ate a sandwich and slept for another 6 hours. I always wondered; how long can you push yourself to just go and go and go without rest before you have to stop, or you die? I wonder if you could do it forever if you have the motivation. If I had the motivation I could I reckon. But I don't. I alternate between floating places and abruptly marching others. It's really great.
I don't think anyone could reasonably understand how much I love dip. Mmmm, dip.

And;


Which has an interesting sort of significance now.

"Courage combined with integrity is the foundation of character. The first form of courage is your ability to stick to your principles, to stand for what you believe in and to refuse to budge unless you feel right about the alternative. Courage is also the ability to step out in faith, to launch out into the unknown and then to face the inevitable doubt and uncertainty that accompany every new venture."
-Brian Tracy

Like a glass vase,

I feel like I could break into a million tiny tiny pieces. But not in a bad way, in a good way. Because I know that there are people who would search the world for every piece to put me back together.

I feel like I should've been born in another era sometimes, but sometimes I think this one suits just fine.

Some men were really awful to me on the train today. Or about me. And then it really upset me that I'm so used to it because I realised that it happens far too often. So I feel like I need to state this blatantly in the hope that just one man might read it and think twice one day. Pointing at me, winking at me, openly discussing my breasts, pinching my arse when I walk past and looking my body up and down slowly many times is not flattering. It is demeaning. It is rude. It makes me feel like a piece of meat, a commodity with no value other than my hips. I can't do anything about the way I look and I hate that people I don't even know publicly define me by it on a regular basis. Just because I wear a dress does not mean I am prostitute. Because my top is cut lower than my neck does not mean that I appreciate your sleazy advances. No one should be able to make me feel ashamed of who I am, when I haven't done anything other than exist on a train somewhere, but those men did. They didn't even bother to hide their obvious discussion of me, as if they had every right to be belittling me because they are men, and they are powerful. You make me sick.

Rant over.

"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute."
-Rebecca West

It is a lovely day. I am procrastinating, as usual, but I've become so skilled at it that I figure it's a shame not to keep practicing because otherwise I might lose the knack.

Here are the reasons it's such a lovely day:

*The sun is shining brightly, even though it's winter
*There are no clouds obscuring the sun
*I showered and I have really clean, fluffy hair as well as smooth legs.

*I have hours and hours to waste

*I'm seeing a show tonight with people I like/love

*I will do homework and it isn't going to be at all painful

*I'm home alone

*I fairly love my life.

I feel really whole lately.

In other news, I'm pretty sure my next door neighbour talks to himself. And whatever, fine, who doesn't? But it's a bit awkward. Because I was hanging the washing out just before and I could see him through the rather large gap in the fence, watering his plants, chatting away to himself. And I nearly answered him, because he kept asking himself questions really loudly. After a while I think he noticed I was there and he stopped abruptly. He's probably quite embarrassed. But I don't mind. But I can't exactly just go up to him and be like "Oh no, don't mind me, I talk to myself too, you carry on! It doesn't bother me at all." because even though those things are all true, he will still feel awkward, and I will still look like a wank. So I had to hang out the rest of my dad's jocks whilst avoiding his eyes and singing a little to myself to fill the silence. And he watered for so long you don't even know! Seriously, how much can there be to hose in a garden with a few pot plants and synthetic grass? Really now, water waster.

Faced with a difficult choice.

No regrets, yeah? No regrets.

This one time at camp we nearly got eaten by a wombat, no joke. An it was high on methylated spirits. Which we gave it accidentally because it was all over the cucumber which was left outside. I'm thinking back on how much we freaked out at the time, and it was so unnecessary, but so funny. It was making a weird croaking noise outside the tent in the middle of the night and we heard it. One of my friends actually whispered "No, don't make any noise and don't go out there. Wombats charge at you." You think that's ridiculous? What's worse is that we didn't even laugh, we took it seriously because we were all dead serious and so was she. For at least 15 minutes there were about six of us who were scared for our actual lives because we thought that a wombat was going to kill us. We woke up the next day and laughed and pretended we'd never actually be frightened, but at the time we were all completely petrified. We got really caught up in the moment and because of that we totally lost all sense of logic or reason. I wish that could happen more often, except maybe without the life threatening wombat situation :)

I Need More

I realised today how much not being at home
makes you appreciate being home.
I don't want the holidays to ever go away,
but they're leaving in a day and a bit.


"The highest and most beautiful things in life are not to be heard about, nor read about, nor seen but, if one will, are to be lived."
-Soren Kierkegaard

I think people are great.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Also, I think I might start showering twice a day because I don't want to be dirty/stinky.

Does anyone ever get into that mood where you're so tired that everything is just chill/good/funny? I think for most people it comes just before the "OK now I'm so tired I hate everyone" stage, but mine comes just after. And I get completely delirious and just start to love everyone. During this mindset last night/this morning I realised that if I could be like that (minus the tiredness) all the time, then my life would be awesome. Because I actually love people, for all their faults and bizarre behaviour. People really do go all right.

OK now it's time for the serious stuff; Would you rather snort half a shaker of pepper or a live bee? Guys really, this is important, as in, if your life depended on it. Seriously.

"People need loving the most when they deserve it the least."
-John Harrigan

I like to blog.

I would like to make my viewpoint on a topical issue very clear.

I LIKE DOWNBALL.

I actually don't care what anyone thinks about this one. I don't care if you think it's crap and for losers. I don't care if you played it in primary school and think you're above it. I don't care if you're Indie or Emo or Scene or Muzza or Teenybopper or a Jock or a Loser or a Muso or Fat or Thin or Punk or Square or Asian or Kiwi or Curry or Gangster or even secretly a plastic spy. Downball is fun, and I really suck at it. Boys and girls, let the games begin.


That is me, being intense...ly good. Only our downball is more hardkore because we use a tennis ball which is clearly much more difficult to see/hit.


KTHNXBAI.

Sweet times.

I shopped today with pretty much the most excellent person I will ever meet. I think I could spend a day with you in an empty room and we would still have more fun than most people have in a lifetime. So A, join my family?

OK serious question. If you had to, would you rather spend three months alone on a deserted island or three weeks on the island with the just one person you hate the most? Serious question. I can't decide.

The other day I met a really great lady. She would have been in her late forties to early fifties. She asked me the typical question that adults ask every teenager who they can't relate to: "So, what are you thinking of doing when you finish school?" I mumbled something about university and not really knowing and trailed off awkwardly. Her reply? "Good call. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up." I realised that there's every chance that I'll never know. I also realised that I'm 100% OK with this probability. Babeh, life be good.

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

SurprisedEmu.

That is definitely an ostrich, but SurprisedOstrich just didn't have the same ring to it.


I have had beautiful holidays, and beautiful holidays are usually due to beautiful people. I have found many beautiful people in the most unsuspecting of places. My favourite people are those that are quiet and unassuming. The ones that you don't know because they do not attempt to outshine the rest. They go about their business quietly, peacefully and with a delicacy and dignity which seems lost on many. But those ones are the best. They know the most because they spend more time listening than speaking but if you give them an appropriate time and place, they have the most to say. I love the people who say what is necessary eloquently, using as few words as is possible, but choose them carefully so that what they say provokes thought long after they have finished speaking. To those people, I appreciate you today.


Ten minutes ago I said I wouldn't be too deep. I wonder if I've failed? Either way, I like this business of appreciating people on a blog. I think I will continue. Later.