Jesus, cheer up would you?

Everyone's posting sad things because it seems that everyone is sad. And by this I mean everyone is angsty and depressy over the net because it is easy and because they feel like they need to. And I have been reading and hearing all of this stuff and it made me realise--the people I know are issue-y. It's intense. But what I think people need is a good old dose of happy. Because life is beautiful. Just go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air. See if you can feel the blood rushing through your veins and your heart beating and your muscles flexing and your brain thinking. It tells you you're alive. And is there really anything more incredible than that? You are ALIVE, dammit. And this moment will never come back. Don't waste it. I'm going to go and revel in the power and beauty of my youth now. For my sake, your sake and the sake of everyone who loves you, enjoy some Bobby McFerrin.


"I give you my phone number, when you worry, call me, I make you happy."

Ballerinas are very beautiful,

and I love the lines that they make with their bodies.
I have been drawing them for hours now.

I realised last night that you can't hurt me anymore.

Oh pretty girl, I watch you dance and sing and spread your sunshine.

The way you move, you move with grace and love.

And pretty girl, I admire you so much and I watch you from a distance,
And it makes me sad to think you might end up lonely.
Oh pretty girl, he doesn't deserve you.
Pretty girl, his bad boy allure is not just a front.
Oh pretty, pretty girl, don't let him break your heart.

Went to an incredible party last night. Words cannot describe these decorations ladies and gentlemen...! Far out, some people amaze me with their capacity to amaze. Yep, figure that one out.GUYZ, I HAVE A WHEAT BAG.
I...adore this thing above all of my other possessions. I just love it. It is purple and it's a love heart shape. Ahhhh, love hearts.
What else? I am happy, but not everyone is. I'm one of the lucky ones I think. In fact, I know. I love people. I know I write this so much it's getting repetitive to read, but it's sure as hell not repetitive to write. I love so many people!

"Right birds can fly so high and they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared,
But when you look at them and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how I feel about you."
-Kate Nash, Birds

Ranty post which I feel is a bit necessary.

I made a choice to leave pro cricket behind a long time ago. Cricket Victoria sending me invitations to try out for Victorian teams does not help my situation! Stop making me think I could be good at this, because I can't! This is so stupid.

OK ranting done, sorry about double posting. Btw, GOT MY iPOD!! Ohhh yeah :D See how posting things makes me feel better? Love it !

kissesnhugs (but mainly just hugs)

Doing it for the lolidays!

Holidays! Holidays! I love this! I will drink 100L tea in these two weeks, just watch me I swear I will. Andandand I'm going to go and buy an iPod classic now! I feel bad that this makes me happy, but whatever. It totally does.

So I found this picature in art yesterday;And so then I drew it in charcoal and conte. The picture itself was okay, but the point was that I really liked drawing it. As in, really got into it for three periods. So, I have decided that this semester's art folio will be about exploring the human form. I love the body. Is that weird? Yeah maybe, but I do. I just love the body. And I love the idea that the body represents humans and through that can represent emotion. And the thing that I find most beautiful about life is the people in it. And the way that they make me feel, and the way that they feel. And the enormity of a feeling versus its insignificance. So yeah, art this semester is getting off to a pleasant start. No doubt the stress will invade soon enough :)

To conclude, my favourite Dr. Seuss quote;
"You have a brain in your head, you have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own and you know what you know,
And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go."

I'm frightened.

I wish I could vote. But also not. A new Prime Minister. I feel a little cheated because I've wanted a female in power for so long, but not like this. Argh. I don't know whether to be excited or annoyed but I'm very apprehensive and a little scared.

I'm in Eng Lang, not paying attention. Probably should.

KTHNXBAI

I usually think pretty thoughts.

I am now going to dump something really heavy on you, but don't take this the wrong way because I think it is important for people to think about.

Recently my Pa (as in Grandpa) was diagnosed with cancer. I am not writing this to make people feel sorry for me or even because it made me sad. I am writing this because it made me think. It made me think a few things, none of which I particularly liked, but all of which I think are important. The main one was that I realised the fleeting nature of life. That sounded fairly pretentious and wanky, but that's really the most concise way that I can think to put it. To understand, you have to understand my Pa. Everytime I see him he'll tell me a new story about his life. Some are interesting, some are not. The point is, that all of those things happened. And though I feel like they happened a long time ago, for him they are clear memories. For him they could have happened yesterday. And now, nearing the end of what I see as a long life, he is probably realising that it has happened in a snap. And I think that this is very beautiful, don't get me wrong. It's just...I am going to be really honest. It's just that it scares me. Don't get me wrong or something, I have decided that I am definitely not scared of death. I can't imagine anything afterwards and this feels kind of calm. Death I can easily accept. And I know I am not scared of life. I have realised that what I am scared of is the moment before death. I am scared that I will be in that moment and look back on my miniscule lifetime and feel like I haven't lived. There it is. That is the truth.

I'm sorry about that, but I felt the need to share. And I feel that if I told someone that in person then they would be bored. I feel better now. Excellent :)Other than that, I had an absolutely stunning weekend. I meant to do methods homework tonight though. Oh internet, how well you distract me
Farewell followers ;)

Glory glory (can I get an amen?!)

FOR LULZ.


Good. Moving right along;

I've been thinking a lot about choices lately. I've been thinking about the way that people choose to live their lives, because I think that some people do make a conscious choice to live a certain way, and those people are often very vocal about it. Preaching advice like crazy. There is this song; Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) by Quindon Tarver, he says this and I sort of like it.

'Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply
it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing
the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly
parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. '

Isn't that nice? But a bit weird because it's sort of advice in itself. But I think it's has some relevance and I like it anyway. So back to the point, choices. You know how you always hear people saying things like 'Live without fear or regret'? I used to always go 'Yeah! Right on, we're invincible!' But now I actually think I disagree a little. I think that we need regret and that we need fear. And I think that it's wrong to say that we should cut out entire emotions or sections of life, because I want to experience everything, even if I don't like it and even if it hurts or makes me feel uncomfortable and I never want it to happen again. Because how else can you learn? How can you feel properly full and satisfied, if you haven't tried every dish at the banquet? To do my own little bit of preaching, I would say that rather than living without fear, living without regret, living without sadness and pain and jealousy and hatred and greed, live with acceptance. I want to accept that I will feel everything and I won't necessarily like it all and I'll wake up the next day and ask myself what the hell I was thinking. I want to accept imperfection, because for me that is the root of beauty. That is the reality of real perfection.

That was sort of deep. I don't want to be the dnm whore kid. I just love every aspect of life so much that I feel like it all needs to be explored, tested, poked, prodded and checked for holes and writing about it gives me time to think about that. I like thinking, and I like being pensive.


Oh God. That voice just told me I could have whatever I like. He wants my body. He needs my body. If I close my eyes and listen to it I can imagine it's someone else. That voice. His guitar. It's just a thing. I've gone all dreamy. I'll stop before I type something stupid(er).

Bye faves!
xxx

"Just remember, there's always someone who has it worse off than you"

In other news I have continued to be entranced by the beauty of life and I am unable to understand people who can't see it. It is fairly obviously right there. People who are pessimists make me a little sad, because they are making themselves sad. I honestly think that happiness is there for the taking, you just have to reach a little bit further for it when things don't look so swell. It's almost like being happy is a mindset that you can choose. I can't explain it any other way, I just wish that everyone would make that choice.

For my art folio this semester we can do whatever we like. That is a little bit scary but also kind of liberating. I think that having this blog has made me really think about and articulate my love affair with every day, so I was thinking of a way to express that in my folio. I've spent long enough showing it in words, it could be interesting to try using pictures. That way the blog and the folio could complement each other nicely. I wish I was good at photography. I only have a really crappy old digital camera and I'm no good at taking photos anyway. But I think that even crap photos could maybe inspire something creative or beautiful. I just want someone to see my final (whatever it will be) and feel as winded and inspired as I do when I think about my life and the people I love. I'm rambling.

I love swimming, but not in public pools. I'm not a huge fan of germs. I want a hair cut but I don't know what kind because I still want it to be long. I hate waiting and I'm really impatient. I love lazy days. I would like a new iPod because I have too much music to fit on mine. I don't think I'll have enough money to go to the formal. My back hurts a bit. I love my house and I never want it to be sold. I love my bed. Clouds remind me of someone I miss. My hands are freezing. I should do methods homework. It's dark, and nothing has been done. I love my life!

Here's a title that would shock;

I saw a few good things today:

Ugly, dirty graffiti next to a train line that said "Love is the only reality"

My goddaughter. Sometimes I get scared that I'll miss her growing up and then suddenly she will be my age and I will be old. I want to be able to give her so much, but I don't know if I can. Babies are so tiny and precious and vulnerable. Perfect. Maybe I'm worried that I'll ruin her. I want her life to be easy and I want her never to have to worry but that is impossible because an easy life isn't a good one. How do you give someone the world when all you own are the clothes on your back and the random crap in your messy bedroom (which was bought by your parents anyway)? All I can give her is all of me and all of my love and hope that she appreciates it even though it is so simple and probably not very useful. I hope that my love can be enough for you, because I don't know how to give you more than that.

Coconut rice. In a sense. It's cooking now. I am all over Asia night man, I have got the coconut rice COVERED.

My favourite Haiku:

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

Reminded me of the train poems.
I really just love graffiti. But I pretend to disapprove of it, so shhh.

So, boys and girls this brings us to the end of another post. I'm off to pwn Asia night. I may or may not let you know how it goes.
Bye now (:

I carry your heart here with me, I carry it in my heart.

"Hate is easy; Love takes courage"

OK so I've decided to spew-type. These next things may or may not be related to each other/anything. I guess we'll see.

Firstly, Is this even real? I mean it, this can't be real because this is the stuff of movies.
This does not happen in real life. But this is happening in mine.
I LOVE MY LIFE.

So two of the people I am the most infatuated with spent yesterday and today with me. To rub it in the faces of all the people who have exams, we literally spent the whole two days doing nothing. We call them ceebs days and I swear to God I live for them. I have been intensely efficient/busy etc for the last few weeks and now that it's all over I crave silences, stillness and sleep. I got my fill and it was so worth it you have no idea.
So my birthday's soonish and pretty much all of my friends are going to be out of the state/at a netball competition which will undoubtedly make it less good than it would have been. But hopefully someone will want to spend some time with me because birthdays alone sound kind of crap. I want so much stuff though. In order of priority:
But as I am fairly obviously not going to be getting any of those, I think I can settle for a mildly attractive cake and some love. A girl can dream though :)

I wish that everyone was nice to everyone else. I wish I could fix the world's problems. I wish the world's problems weren't so huge. I wish the world would shut up for five seconds and notice that though it may have huge problems, people have problems too. And they might not be as huge but they probably seem it. I wish that I could fix those people's problems. I wish I was less self-centered and more tolerant. I wish everyone was a little more blunt. I wish courtesy was more common. I wish people would learn from their mistakes. I really just wish that everyone was nice to everyone else.

I found out that a silly boy is smitten by a pretty girl today. It made me very happy, I hope it's true. I love that people fall in love with each other. It's really such a lovely concept. Just think about existence and how breathtaking it already is, and then add in the idea that people become so intrigued with another person that they constantly think about them and wish to spend every waking second with them. Add the idea that a person can become entirely selfless in their desire to simply partake in another's company. That my friends, is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Sometimes I imagine that my phone is ringing if I want someone to call. And then I'm all like 'Noo, don't be stupid, you're imagining it and you know it!'. In the end though, I always have to go and check it just to make sure. And then I have a bit of a lol about how pathetic that is. And then I realise that I just laughed at myself for doing something pathetic all alone which is even more pathetic. But still quite funny. I think that entertaining oneself is a lost art. I aim to bring it back into fashion. That's a complete lie. But I told you it was a lie so it's allowed, yeah?

Woah. This is a really strange and contradictory post. I want to meet one of the romantics. Like a romantic poet or writer or painter. I just want to talk to them a bit, I want to know if they're normal.

And...thend!

Had a bit of a lol over that one.

So, I've had two sleepovers in two days, it's been great. I might sleep at home tonight, I guess we'll see. I keep on meeting awesome people and falling in love with them. When on earth did this start? I don't think I've been this quick to love forever. Recently I feel like I've just started to see beautiful people everywhere I look. Have these people always been there and I've just been ignoring them? Or have they just started to exist? How is this even possible? Maybe I'm just lucky.

Had a nice chat with some lovely people this morning over breakfast as it was one of my favourite people's eighteenth birthday. Everyone is turning eighteen. It's crazy. They're not kids anymore. We won't be young forever. Actually I lie. I think I'll probably be a kid forever and I know plenty of people who will too. Because it's important not to take yourself too seriously I reckon. But that doesn't mean that life can't be seriously amazing.

But I'd better go and clean my room. Angry parents can make life a little less enjoyable :)

I want you to want me.

"Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained."

-William Blake