I do things that other people do

and because of this I have got me some tumblr action
http://couldyoulendmeadollar.tumblr.com/

I'm tired but I'm in just too much pain to sleep. Ah.
I have a small confession;
I need someone to hold me and tell me that it's really going to be okay and that in two days I will regret even worrying and that it's okay to be a little bit scared sometimes about things I can't control.

In other news I might get a tumblr. Everyone else is.

Stuff like that only happens to other people.

I'm not going to be hasty.
It's probably nothing and probably no big deal.
But that doesn't stop the tiny, niggling doubt.
I. Don't. Know.

Dear bed, why am I not inside you!?

I caved and booked an appointment with the new physio. I'm really scared for a number of reasons but I don't really want to think about it.

I'm worried that I'll lose the male friends that I have now. And they are so nice. And I realised today that that is so rare. What if they are actually unique?! What if every other boy I will ever meet is an arse? What do I do then!? I am really quite freaked out by this. It sounds like a joke when I say it but...seriously. I feel comfortable around you, and I feel really uncomfortable around other boys. You are lovely. I really AM going to ring you all up one day when I'm 23, crying, and say "I don't like anyone I know and no one will spoon me or make me tea or let me talk to them about things without feeling like I'm being judged or dance drunkenly when I am always completely sober or listen to me whine or anything and I hate men." And just to give y'all the heads up, I will then expect you to say "Calm down. Let's go have coffee."

And just a couple more general things: I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN. BUT IT'S OKAY TO A POINT BECAUSE I LOVE EVERYONE. and
TONY ABBOTT GO SUCK A FAT ONE YEAAAHHH!!!

Goodness gracious, holy moly, what a kerfuffle!

In a sense, my life is the best it has ever been and I am very , very happy. In another sense, I cannot walk.

So, my uncle knows a guy who is apparently a 'master' physiotherapist. And he called him and he said that bursitis will not get better by rest, but needs to be 'rubbed out'. I don't understand. I have definitely googled this problem and it says that rest helps, so does my physiotherapist. But I have been resting. It hasn't improved. Also, bursitis is definitely a sort of inflammation around a tendon and a bone...why would you 'rub out' an inflammation? Anyway my uncle swears by this 'master' and I am sort of inclined to trust him because he has had hip problems since the dawn of time. He told me that my aunty would take me to see him if I want...in Berrwick. Okaayy, no offence if you live in or near Berrwick but that is 12 million miles from my house. "Oh well," I hear you say, "It'll be worth it once you're fixed by the master." But unfortunately it isn't that simple, my friends. You see, I am very busy this week and the drive there will take an absolute minimum of one hour, so I can't go after school or I wont get home until like 9. And I could only do Friday anyway, so I would have to wait until the weekend. By which time I will have killed myself from the frustration of how slow I am forced to walk. All of this is compounded by the fact that the 'master' is a 75 year old man who would need to intensely massage/ 'rub out' my very upper thigh which might be creepy and I am convinced would hurt like a mofo, AND the fact that my physio is on holiday. Really, world this is over-complicating things a little wouldn't you say?

So, for something simple.

I wanna be on you.

So, I am too fat to fit into my formal dress. My other option is for a tall person and thus makes me look very short and is also a bit funeral-y. I have bursitis in my hip and hence cannot do any kind of exercise to attempt to fit into the original dress. I also can't go shopping because walking makes the bursitis worse and I have to try to get over it before formal or I won't physically be able to go. I only have one pair of shoes I could wear and I like them but I feel like my mother in them. I can't go to school because the walking causes too much pain and discomfort, but equally can't not go to school because missing things causes too much pain and discomfort. The university course I have finally decided I want to do requires an ATAR that is way out of my reach and possibly a subject that I haven't taken. I have no one to tell these things to, so I am posting my whine on my blog because it makes me feel better.

OK I actually do feel better now. That was therapeutic. In the end none of that stuff really matters, it's all just the small things that irritated me today. But this not being able to walk thing is really becoming an issue. Guys I can honestly say that this is the worst pain I have ever experienced in my whole life. And it won't go away what the hell!

Anyway this is on some ad, but it still chills me out a lot so I'mma post it.

“In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer”

-Albert Camus

ANGRY CONFUSED WHAT THE HELL.

"Don't sell yourself short"

I don't know how.

So, I shall hope--without confidence--but hope with every fibre of my being.

PAIN, GAH.

It's going to be okay. Okay? Okay. I can promise that because I believe in everyone. I wish people knew how amazing they were. I wish I had the courage and the words to tell people how much I am amazed by them, but I don't. Maybe I can't. But then again, maybe I can. Maybe I should try. Yes that sounds good. So, I'm going to try to tell people when they amaze me. So, if I start to stumble around words in something that vaguely resembles praise to you, please forgive my awkwardness and try to be patient. I want you to know that I think you are cool. Cool? Cool.

I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.

Jack's whipping out the chillers, ahhhh :)

The truth is that I want this moment back and that I am scared of wasted time. I force happiness everyday because I have to fight for what I believe in.

Well then, since I know you'll look;

I miss you. I miss you like crazy. I MISS YOU LIKE FUCKING CRAZY.

Where are you? Who are you? I don't even know! I'm a bit ashamed because I worry that the fact that I'm losing you is my fault. I want so much to talk to you about how I've changed. I want to hear your silly, amazing stories and have you sing and dance for me every morning like we used to. I want to have sleepovers where we don't do much other than talk. I want you to tell me that I'm being a bit dumb because I don't have anyone else who does that. I want your honesty and your love back. I want you to question me when I say things that you know I don't mean, or don't have any justification for. I want you to provoke real thoughts about real people in my sometimes tiny brain. I want you to laugh at me and love me. I am so, so worried that we won't try and that the end of this year will come and you will leave and we will never have this time back. I am worried that we will look back on salmon eating tax days and wonder how we were ever so close. I miss you!! I know it's my fault that we're distant. And we both know why that is. And I am so so sorry, but I'm silly and fleeting and imperfect and a bit weak. So look, I've been thinking about this for a while. I need you back in my life and I am sick and tired of not making an effort, so here is the first of many: come and see Antigone with me. We could have a sleepover afterwards? Or if not, we'll have one in the holidays.

I know you're busy but you better try to make some room for me in your amazing life, because I will not stop muscling my way in. I don't care if I piss you off, I refuse to let go. So there. Prepare to be hounded Moo. I am not giving up.

I'm proud of you.

I think I'm on another planet with you, with you.

Gahgahgah.

I am so conflicted. Everything is conflicting. How can it be possible to have so many totally opposing views at once?

Friggin hell.

Oh Boy Oh Boy

Today I:
-Wasted a lot of time
-Was forced into a couple of photos
-Felt sad
-Felt happy
-Got told off a bit
-Did a SAC
-Failed a test
-Was let down a little, but ended up having a great time instead
-Ate a lot of unnecessary food
-Shopped
-Whined
-Spoke to a very stupid man
-Was rude to a friend
-Had a lol, and then another lol and etc
-Went to cricket training
-Saw a highly disturbing picture which just...oh god people what are you thinking?!
-Saw a cool dude
-And yeah, just generally had a pretty swell day

"NOMNOMANOM"
-World

Aren't people funny?

So the main person I was talking about in the last post did something recently which just made me as proud as punch! I respect you, I really do and I'm so, so happy that soon you're going to be happy too. I shouldn't have doubted you, and people like you deserve the real apologies :)

But on another note, goodness gracious people are silly. And beautiful and ridiculous and entrancing and lovely. But silly! So silly!"People are like slinkies...not good for much, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs."

You make my heart sing

I had the best ever weekend in Warburton you guys don't even know! We went to the snow! THE SNOW GUYS! And this wasn't just some piss weak snow, this was real AND it was actually snowing. We had a snow fight and we made a snowman and it was AMAZING and ahhh!

In other news, I just had a thought (shock). It's about hating on people. I do it so much. I can think of three people at the moment that I've been hating on religiously. I don't even know why. Isn't that terrible? No one is a bad person. I can't believe it. I get caught up in the excitement of the bitching, the connection that I feel with others when we have a common hatred, and that makes me weak. I hate it. I want to tell you three that I don't hate you. That I know for a fact everyone tells you how much I bitch about you and how much I hate you, but it isn't true. I could never really hate you, even if I wanted to. The only reason that I say awful things to or about you is because I cannot just sit there and watch you destroy your life. I want to help but I don't know how or it isn't my place. I am selfish and rude and weak in that respect and I really am sorry, but watching other people suffer makes me ill. Maybe ignorance is bliss, I don't know. There's a whole lot I don't know actually, but it's fine as long as I tell people that I don't get it. Either way, recently I have been shown the truth about certain people and it's awful, awful, awful. I want you to be as happy as I am, but it's something that I can't share. I want to so desperately, but I can't.

Anyway, sorry about that but I needed to get it off my chest and I'm too silly to say it to anyone really. In conclusion, I'm feeling the love guysh. Feeeeeeeeeeeling the love!

These are a few of my favourite things;

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad...
I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel...
So bad :)

Hold on, dear, and I'll hold you.

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free.

I feel like a little dedication. I guess these are kind of boring unless you're the one they're about, so please bear with me.

Dear SkunkMan,
I am writing this to you because I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I'm a realist and a bit of a cynic sometimes, but the truth is that this is real and I don't care how long it's real for. Please never forget that this is/was real. No one has ever been as nice to me as you are, ever in my life. I adore it. I adore you. What we have is easy and free and beautiful. It's so healthy and sunshiney. I guess that's not really a word but that is the best description I can think of. We're sunshiney. You've taught me a lot. Never forget this beauty, because things like this deserve to be remembered. So, I guess, thanks. Just thanks a lot.
(:

Friends who feed are friends indeed, friends with tea are better!

Friends who make nomonm pancakes, friends who grow young together :)

I had so much fun last night and today! We had a sleepover and friendsfriendsfriends I'm so happy! I love them! I love people who I can just be myself around, and who can be themselves around me. Friends who pretend to have lightsabers and guns. Friends who take control of the kitchen. Friends who point out the blatantly obvious or act like monkeys or laugh in 'ooo' noises or snuggle me in the morning or put their hair up in a mullet or text twice in a row or are just the best ever people ever! I love that they love the same things I love and I get so excited about the magic that we make when we're together. Because that's what it is. When people get along and have fun and accept each other, that feeling is magic. So, in conclusion, magic exists. Haters back off!
The Rainbow Fish!

I better go do some of this homework I guess, but even that cannot dampen my amazing mood. I am so intoxicated with life guys. I really am. People just keep on bringing out all these amazing things and it's the best I can do to keep my jaw from permanently dragging on the ground in shock. 'Oh, Lizzy, you've known me for a while, so I guess you should know this random thing about me which I'll say like it's totally casual when really you just pissed yourself with delight. All chill.' Really guysh! How do you get so cool?! You are the greatest and I love you I love you I love you and I don't know how else to put it or how I can emphasize it more. I LOVE YOU ALL!

“Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

-Anthony Robbins

To post or not to post? That is the question.

I posted.

I questioned why I blogged today.

I think I do it because it's kind of fun and nice. But also because articulating things has become increasingly important to me recently. I don't know if that's because of this blog, or if it's the reason that I created it, but that's the truth. I feel the constant need to say what I'm thinking, to express it in art, to write a song about it, to shout it from a rooftop. I think I'm a bit worried that the most important things in life are the ones that often go unsaid. And if something is never said then it's very, very easy to believe that it was never there. So I'll say them. Most likely very few people will listen and I know this. But I'll do it anyway, because it means something to me and if it means something then it must be worthwhile, right?

I'm a tiny bit scared right now. Has anyone ever had the feeling that they were totally ready and prepared for something to happen? Has anyone else then been confronted with it, and realised that they were almost completely and utterly unprepared? Just a question to mull over, I guess. It suggests that nothing is definite I reckon. So, a tiny bit scared. Or maybe just apprehensive.

Adelaide exchange tomozza! I'm in hockey, softball and theatresports. Which isn't a sport, I know. But it is definitely more menacing than any of the other events. I think I'm stressing about this...uhhh.

I have this song stuck in my head, which is pretty good considering I had Miley Cyrus Party In The USA in there for like a week beforehand.



OK, I'm more exhausted than the English language has words for :)
exoh.

"Why would you wear a thong?! It's like shoving a tampon up your ass!"

Saw a deep and meaningful (I think) play today. Was pretty good. Everyone will be super duper pleased and interested to know that I'm getting better at methods!! Everything is going pretty swell to be honest. I had a sort of a realisation today that my life is very specified. As in, not everyone would actually like it. But it's specific to me, so I really, really do.

Just saw this, it fairly sums up stuff. Sometimes truth and reality can actually be this simple.

Stolen from a fair babe of a kid with a sweet rhythm in his head
http://phrases-for-the-young.blogspot.com/


"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves."
-Salma Hayek

You're a person.

And I'm a person. And therefore we must be alike in some way.
People shouldn't be mean to other people without understanding why someone is the way they are, I learnt that the not-so-easy way. I am true believer that someone's personal life can effect their day-to-day behaviour. As far as I can tell people aren't a certain way for no reason. People are the way they are, and usually it's because someone made them that way. And so, in conclusion, I'm going to try really hard to cut some people some slack. I promise.

I froze today. In the best possible way. I stood outside with the freezing cold literally biting at my bones, and still, still, still I loved every second.

When I got what I wanted, I didn't want it anymore.

I went to a place today where I once used to spend meaningful, thoughtless hour after hour with someone who meant a lot to me. It was nostalgic, it was strange. It made me think a lot and start to wonder, questions whose answers I will never know. What did it mean to you? Have you been back there since? Do you ever miss it? The place has been repainted and all of our favourite graffiti is gone. My personal favourite was "U calld urself a playa but i f*ked ur wyf." Isn't that poetic? I like the way that things have changed and I like the person I'm becoming, but I can't help my curiosity about the past. Memories are peaceful, confronting and beautiful things. But it doesn't do too well to live in them, so I won't dwell.

I have no homework this weekend, can you believe it? This is a weird feeling and I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm seeing my five favourite people tonight for a long overdue sleepover and I can't wait to bask in the glory and awesomeness that is my friends!

"Life is divine chaos. Embrace it."

Define;

I struggle with definitions. I find myself constantly asking what words mean. Even though I know what they mean. I just have to ask to make sure that your definition is the same as mine. I don't want things to become lost in translation.

So anyway, someone asked me to have faith today. And I didn't ask what it meant, so I'm looking it up. Here is the definition I found: Faith is the confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person. That's difficult. The truth is, I don't have it. But I'm sure as hell going to look for it. I'm going to find you, Faith! Ready or not, here I come!

What else is new? Oh right, um, MY DAD WENT TO SCHOOL WITH JOHNNY MARR ASDJDDODJDHHDJNSJKVDFJVB!!!!!!!!!!!! Why have I only just found this out?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!! But I'd better stop because I could go on that rant for a day.
Re: the high pants. I don't exactly know. I got a couple of compliments and a couple of odd looks. I think I shall keep wearing them (for the weird looks to be honest).

So yeah. Life's going fine. It's going to be

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anybody can start today and make a new ending"
-Maria Robinson

Puzzling.

All I can think about, all of the time. I sleep in, I make tea and I go back to bed. I get up, make some more tea and check my phone. You occupy my life. It's not healthy, but I know it's good. We are a contradiction. Who knows? People are fickle creatures.

Hang the DJ (Hang the DJ!)

I spent this morning re-living my childhood with:

Back in the day of hating my dad's music but secretly being kind of addicted to it, and singing along to lyrics I clearly didn't understand. I remember singing 'Miss you, hiss...the lovecats!!' in Primary school and the other kids would sort of move away a little bit, bahaha. Good times my friends, good times.

Unrelatedly, I really, really, REALLY want a pig. My mum told me today that she nearly bought one when she was 17. She said she rode her motorbike down to some country place where they were doing sales and her and her boyfriend bid on a pig at about $6, but didn't buy it for the sole reason that they realised that they couldn't take a pig home on their bike.
Ok mum...what? What?! I don't think I'm ready to explore the possibility that my mum at my age was exactly the sort of person I would have been friends with/been. Just...not yet.
Ahhh! I want one!!! I could have it like a dog and have a little pig kennel for it and give it a collar with diamontes. And when it's cold it could sleep on my lap and make little snoring noises! Awww! And I'll take it for walks on a lead and it can make friends with the other dogs in the neighbourhood and then maybe someone else could get a pig so that it can have a friend who is like it because I don't want my pig to be like Tarzan and not ever see anyone of its own kind until it's old. And I can call it Turnip! Or maybe Pumpkin! and I can make it a sailor costume and we'd be best friends and never ever ever ever ever ever ever part! Come on, tell me this isn't the best plan ever! Oink!

And I bought some high waisted jeans from Vinnies for $8, ch-ching! Although, I don't know if they're actually that great, I can't quite decide. I think they may make me look fat...hmmm. I'll wear them tomorrow and see if I can get an honest opinion out of anyone. If they are actually crap it doesn't matter cos they were only $8 anyway, score! Also, I can't really bend over, eat or breathe in them. But still! They're fun!

I have now procrastinated for the whole day. Wow. Unit four PE SAC number one, you are looking dismal. Ha! Blog, take that for a fat post!


"I stand for freedom of expression, doing what you believe in, and going after your dreams."
-Madonna

"If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it. "
~Toni Morrison

I'm giving in. I don't want to fight intensity anymore. Life, just take me and use me all up. Set me free, like a bird, like a leaf in the wind. I want to jump off a cliff and roll down a hill and I want to feel everything. Let me feel, everything.

All of it.

I think that the thing I love more than anything is giving. I wish I was a little more patient and more tolerant (tolerable too maybe :P). Because then I could give more. I just want to give and give and give until I have nothing left, and then give some more. But you know why? It's because I'm selfish. Because I'm incredibly, incredibly selfish and it's what I love doing more than anything. It makes me feel good to maybe make someone else a little happier for a little while. It's almost like some perverse kick I get out of it. Isn't that strange? Perverse is such a weird word. Teehee.

So my folio. Well I'm currently doing a study of hands. Let me tell those who don't know: hands are a massive pain in the arse to draw. There are all these curves and bumps and just so much shading, and all of that comes AFTER you've finally got a hold on the actual shape of them and how they move. Sheesh!

But other than this, no real news and not a huge amount of depth. But I still see beautiful things all of the time and wonder at them. Like today, seeing people that I had just introduced interact, get along, and then go on to tell me later privately that they really liked my other friends. I just... ahhhh. Love it.

"Banish desire from the world, and you get a world of frozen beings who have no reason to live and no reason to die."
-William Braxton Irvine.

Some fairly obvious advice.

Don't lie to your parents guys. No, ok that's not necessarily what I mean. But don't lie to them about stupid stuff and don't do it too much. Because really. When they find out, it aint pretty. And I got it not bad at all. All I got was a five-minute speech on how lying is never justified. But man some of you people have crazy-fool parents and if they're gonna go ninja on your ass after, you should probs reconsider. I can laugh now though. God, I am so melodramatic! We all are a bit.

Having a nice big ol' LOL right now, so...
bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha mwahahahahahahaha teeeheeeee nomnomnom I'vehad12hoursofsleep wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

OK good. I love you all, and I hope we've all taken something from this highly insightful post

So, tell me what you want, what you really really want!

I was having a pretty average day today. And so to cheer myself up I usually walk home from the station. I find that the combination of music and light exercise makes me happy :D Anywayanyway point of the story is that I was listening to All Star by Smashmouth. And I had drawn one of these little faces on my hand earlier in the day when I decided not to pay attention in class.
They actually provide me with a strangely enormous amount of entertainment.
But anyway! So I started lip synching with my hand (hand synching? Handmouth synching? Finger synching? LOL finger synching) to the words. If you have never done this, then I strongly recommend it. It's really, really good. And of course while I'm finger synching I have to actually lip synch too because I don't have the co ordination not to. So I'm up to the part which is like "all that glitters is gooold! Only shooting stars break the mouuld!" as I was crossing a road. And suddenly I hear this "WOAH!" and a whole bunch of dings in the background. And just as I look up this cyclist has completely lost control of his bike and I jump out of the way just in time (it was pretty ninja) for him to go careening into the footpath. I can tell you, our apologies to each other were pretty awkward. He was embarrassed about his lack of pro skills but also confused as to why I wasn't paying attention and I wasn't quite prepared to explain why I was sort of singing to my hand and laughing when it did funny stuff.

And that is the best thing that happened in my day. How boring am I? Sigh. I feel very pointless and directionless. But still, nearly dying from bicycle accident changes your perception of...ok shut up now. I am clearly procrasti-posting and have nothing insightful at all to say. Dammit!

OK end.

A post filled with a fat amount of soppy love.

My favourite type of person is the one who isn't afraid to show that they care. They will make contact with you a lot and not worry that they might be seeming too eager or something stupid. This type of person shows that they love you. And the truth (whether--as realists, cynics and un-romantics--we like it or not) is that everyone needs to be told that they are loved. Because even though you might know it, or take it as a given, it is affirming. Everyone needs to be shown that they are worthwhile or appreciated. Even the most confident of people need it. Even those who don't want to admit it or don't even know it. Everyone needs confirmation that their presence isn't a waste of time. And do you know what I've found? Giving love is even better than receiving it. It is the most beautiful gift you can give.

And, just quickly, to the five of you; you are my sisters. Even when you piss me off. Even when I piss you off. Especially when I vomit from laughing at you and even more when you make the most inappropriate comments in public places. I would follow you to the ends of the earth.
I don't know when/if you'll see this but;
I have a part of you. It's mine and I'm keeping it. I wont let go.

My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes and oh, my friends it gives a lovely light.

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."
-Buddha

"Every harlot was a virgin once"

You make me feel like a princess every day.

I have just had so much sleep and I feel a little bit sick. My headache wont go away. The holidays are almost over and things will start to go back to normal. This is a big shame, to be honest. However, I have to keep telling myself that the fact that hard work exists and that boring stuff happens is what makes the other stuff special. If the things that happen in the holidays that I cherish so much happened all of the time, then they wouldn't be rare anymore and I wouldn't love or appreciate them as much. But I am seriously hanging out for the next holidays. In a massive way.

This is for you, if you ever come back here to read it: I hate everyone, and we need more practice.

"I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it."
-Audrey Hepburn

If we spend all our lives wanting to be wanted, maybe we forget what we really want.

Whispered conversations in the dark.

Several unrelated things I want to share.
1. NOM.

2. Have you ever told someone something that you've never told anyone else? I did recently. And I can tell you now that it was extremely liberating and frightening. Liberating because secrets like that can weigh on your soul and frightening because saying it out loud means that it is real. Sorry to be angsty and vague here, the point was that I feel kind of lighter now that I've told someone, but kind of scared that they'll tell. But the lightness is worth the risk I think. I want to say 'you should try it!' but I don't know if you should. It's scary. But I decided that I'm not afraid of scary. Does that make sense? Not at all, but I'm still glad I wrote it.

3. I was thinking about why I love the people that I love and I think I've got one of the reasons: Because they are flawed. Like me, like everyone. And my flaws and their flaws complement each other well. Take a fave for example. His strengths match my flaws. I'm strong where he's weak and visa versa. But lots of our major strengths and weaknesses are the same. I love the way that people need each other.
4. They say that friends are the family you choose. And this got me thinking about what it would be like if we could choose our actual biological family. It made me realise that I wouldn't have chosen mine. I'm so, so glad that this is decided for us because I would have been missing out on so much! My family are not really what you would expect I think. They seem fairly boring and bland, until you know them. The depth and the strength of the people I am related to astounds me every day. I respect them the most. I think that knowing I'm related to them makes me confident. Because there must be some part of me that is like some part of them. So I must respect some part of myself in the same way I respect them. I love you, all.

5. My art folio. I've done a few pictures lately. Man, I love drawing, it's so therapeutic! I'm still feeling the after-zen of drawing because I just finished. I'm going to post some pictures of what I've drawn, but I'm not sure why. Oh, that's right I wanted the blog and the folio to complement each other. But it's a little worrying because I don't want people to think I'm good. I'm obviously going to only post the pictures that I like. But also I don't want people to think I'm crap. Because I'm not great but I love drawing so much now that being totally terrible at it would make me sad. So just...don't judge? OK what a stupid thing to say. Try judging through a human lense. Also, I would appreciate any comments or ideas but I don't really expect them. And sozza about the dodgy quality. Okie doke, here goes:This is the one I mentioned in an earlier post. It's just charcoal and conte. I like the way that the human body can portray emotion. This one is kind of reclusive. I'm getting better with charcoal, maybe it's my medium. I don't know. Hopefully I will, though.

And this one is just pencil. It actually looks worse than it is in this photo, but that doesn't really matter. I don't know how to put this without sounding weird...Nude is good. BAHA yeah because that sounded normal. I mean that I think the body is a very beautiful thing and nude art is really...pure? I'm not sure, but I think that bodies are very beautiful. I sound creepy now, but I mean it in a strictly non-creepy way. I'm going to stop now. Good.

6. Went shopping and bought ten albums. I love my dad. We got The Resistance, finally. And Humbug! And I really like Jack Johnson, he makes me zen. So do Angus and Julia Stone.

All rightey babes, I should go get a life now :)

"Love is our resistance."

Jesus, cheer up would you?

Everyone's posting sad things because it seems that everyone is sad. And by this I mean everyone is angsty and depressy over the net because it is easy and because they feel like they need to. And I have been reading and hearing all of this stuff and it made me realise--the people I know are issue-y. It's intense. But what I think people need is a good old dose of happy. Because life is beautiful. Just go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air. See if you can feel the blood rushing through your veins and your heart beating and your muscles flexing and your brain thinking. It tells you you're alive. And is there really anything more incredible than that? You are ALIVE, dammit. And this moment will never come back. Don't waste it. I'm going to go and revel in the power and beauty of my youth now. For my sake, your sake and the sake of everyone who loves you, enjoy some Bobby McFerrin.


"I give you my phone number, when you worry, call me, I make you happy."

Ballerinas are very beautiful,

and I love the lines that they make with their bodies.
I have been drawing them for hours now.

I realised last night that you can't hurt me anymore.

Oh pretty girl, I watch you dance and sing and spread your sunshine.

The way you move, you move with grace and love.

And pretty girl, I admire you so much and I watch you from a distance,
And it makes me sad to think you might end up lonely.
Oh pretty girl, he doesn't deserve you.
Pretty girl, his bad boy allure is not just a front.
Oh pretty, pretty girl, don't let him break your heart.

Went to an incredible party last night. Words cannot describe these decorations ladies and gentlemen...! Far out, some people amaze me with their capacity to amaze. Yep, figure that one out.GUYZ, I HAVE A WHEAT BAG.
I...adore this thing above all of my other possessions. I just love it. It is purple and it's a love heart shape. Ahhhh, love hearts.
What else? I am happy, but not everyone is. I'm one of the lucky ones I think. In fact, I know. I love people. I know I write this so much it's getting repetitive to read, but it's sure as hell not repetitive to write. I love so many people!

"Right birds can fly so high and they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared,
But when you look at them and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how I feel about you."
-Kate Nash, Birds