Well then, since I know you'll look;

I miss you. I miss you like crazy. I MISS YOU LIKE FUCKING CRAZY.

Where are you? Who are you? I don't even know! I'm a bit ashamed because I worry that the fact that I'm losing you is my fault. I want so much to talk to you about how I've changed. I want to hear your silly, amazing stories and have you sing and dance for me every morning like we used to. I want to have sleepovers where we don't do much other than talk. I want you to tell me that I'm being a bit dumb because I don't have anyone else who does that. I want your honesty and your love back. I want you to question me when I say things that you know I don't mean, or don't have any justification for. I want you to provoke real thoughts about real people in my sometimes tiny brain. I want you to laugh at me and love me. I am so, so worried that we won't try and that the end of this year will come and you will leave and we will never have this time back. I am worried that we will look back on salmon eating tax days and wonder how we were ever so close. I miss you!! I know it's my fault that we're distant. And we both know why that is. And I am so so sorry, but I'm silly and fleeting and imperfect and a bit weak. So look, I've been thinking about this for a while. I need you back in my life and I am sick and tired of not making an effort, so here is the first of many: come and see Antigone with me. We could have a sleepover afterwards? Or if not, we'll have one in the holidays.

I know you're busy but you better try to make some room for me in your amazing life, because I will not stop muscling my way in. I don't care if I piss you off, I refuse to let go. So there. Prepare to be hounded Moo. I am not giving up.

I'm proud of you.

I think I'm on another planet with you, with you.

Gahgahgah.

I am so conflicted. Everything is conflicting. How can it be possible to have so many totally opposing views at once?

Friggin hell.

Oh Boy Oh Boy

Today I:
-Wasted a lot of time
-Was forced into a couple of photos
-Felt sad
-Felt happy
-Got told off a bit
-Did a SAC
-Failed a test
-Was let down a little, but ended up having a great time instead
-Ate a lot of unnecessary food
-Shopped
-Whined
-Spoke to a very stupid man
-Was rude to a friend
-Had a lol, and then another lol and etc
-Went to cricket training
-Saw a highly disturbing picture which just...oh god people what are you thinking?!
-Saw a cool dude
-And yeah, just generally had a pretty swell day

"NOMNOMANOM"
-World

Aren't people funny?

So the main person I was talking about in the last post did something recently which just made me as proud as punch! I respect you, I really do and I'm so, so happy that soon you're going to be happy too. I shouldn't have doubted you, and people like you deserve the real apologies :)

But on another note, goodness gracious people are silly. And beautiful and ridiculous and entrancing and lovely. But silly! So silly!"People are like slinkies...not good for much, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs."

You make my heart sing

I had the best ever weekend in Warburton you guys don't even know! We went to the snow! THE SNOW GUYS! And this wasn't just some piss weak snow, this was real AND it was actually snowing. We had a snow fight and we made a snowman and it was AMAZING and ahhh!

In other news, I just had a thought (shock). It's about hating on people. I do it so much. I can think of three people at the moment that I've been hating on religiously. I don't even know why. Isn't that terrible? No one is a bad person. I can't believe it. I get caught up in the excitement of the bitching, the connection that I feel with others when we have a common hatred, and that makes me weak. I hate it. I want to tell you three that I don't hate you. That I know for a fact everyone tells you how much I bitch about you and how much I hate you, but it isn't true. I could never really hate you, even if I wanted to. The only reason that I say awful things to or about you is because I cannot just sit there and watch you destroy your life. I want to help but I don't know how or it isn't my place. I am selfish and rude and weak in that respect and I really am sorry, but watching other people suffer makes me ill. Maybe ignorance is bliss, I don't know. There's a whole lot I don't know actually, but it's fine as long as I tell people that I don't get it. Either way, recently I have been shown the truth about certain people and it's awful, awful, awful. I want you to be as happy as I am, but it's something that I can't share. I want to so desperately, but I can't.

Anyway, sorry about that but I needed to get it off my chest and I'm too silly to say it to anyone really. In conclusion, I'm feeling the love guysh. Feeeeeeeeeeeling the love!

These are a few of my favourite things;

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad...
I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel...
So bad :)

Hold on, dear, and I'll hold you.

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free.

I feel like a little dedication. I guess these are kind of boring unless you're the one they're about, so please bear with me.

Dear SkunkMan,
I am writing this to you because I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I'm a realist and a bit of a cynic sometimes, but the truth is that this is real and I don't care how long it's real for. Please never forget that this is/was real. No one has ever been as nice to me as you are, ever in my life. I adore it. I adore you. What we have is easy and free and beautiful. It's so healthy and sunshiney. I guess that's not really a word but that is the best description I can think of. We're sunshiney. You've taught me a lot. Never forget this beauty, because things like this deserve to be remembered. So, I guess, thanks. Just thanks a lot.
(:

Friends who feed are friends indeed, friends with tea are better!

Friends who make nomonm pancakes, friends who grow young together :)

I had so much fun last night and today! We had a sleepover and friendsfriendsfriends I'm so happy! I love them! I love people who I can just be myself around, and who can be themselves around me. Friends who pretend to have lightsabers and guns. Friends who take control of the kitchen. Friends who point out the blatantly obvious or act like monkeys or laugh in 'ooo' noises or snuggle me in the morning or put their hair up in a mullet or text twice in a row or are just the best ever people ever! I love that they love the same things I love and I get so excited about the magic that we make when we're together. Because that's what it is. When people get along and have fun and accept each other, that feeling is magic. So, in conclusion, magic exists. Haters back off!
The Rainbow Fish!

I better go do some of this homework I guess, but even that cannot dampen my amazing mood. I am so intoxicated with life guys. I really am. People just keep on bringing out all these amazing things and it's the best I can do to keep my jaw from permanently dragging on the ground in shock. 'Oh, Lizzy, you've known me for a while, so I guess you should know this random thing about me which I'll say like it's totally casual when really you just pissed yourself with delight. All chill.' Really guysh! How do you get so cool?! You are the greatest and I love you I love you I love you and I don't know how else to put it or how I can emphasize it more. I LOVE YOU ALL!

“Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

-Anthony Robbins

To post or not to post? That is the question.

I posted.

I questioned why I blogged today.

I think I do it because it's kind of fun and nice. But also because articulating things has become increasingly important to me recently. I don't know if that's because of this blog, or if it's the reason that I created it, but that's the truth. I feel the constant need to say what I'm thinking, to express it in art, to write a song about it, to shout it from a rooftop. I think I'm a bit worried that the most important things in life are the ones that often go unsaid. And if something is never said then it's very, very easy to believe that it was never there. So I'll say them. Most likely very few people will listen and I know this. But I'll do it anyway, because it means something to me and if it means something then it must be worthwhile, right?

I'm a tiny bit scared right now. Has anyone ever had the feeling that they were totally ready and prepared for something to happen? Has anyone else then been confronted with it, and realised that they were almost completely and utterly unprepared? Just a question to mull over, I guess. It suggests that nothing is definite I reckon. So, a tiny bit scared. Or maybe just apprehensive.

Adelaide exchange tomozza! I'm in hockey, softball and theatresports. Which isn't a sport, I know. But it is definitely more menacing than any of the other events. I think I'm stressing about this...uhhh.

I have this song stuck in my head, which is pretty good considering I had Miley Cyrus Party In The USA in there for like a week beforehand.



OK, I'm more exhausted than the English language has words for :)
exoh.

"Why would you wear a thong?! It's like shoving a tampon up your ass!"

Saw a deep and meaningful (I think) play today. Was pretty good. Everyone will be super duper pleased and interested to know that I'm getting better at methods!! Everything is going pretty swell to be honest. I had a sort of a realisation today that my life is very specified. As in, not everyone would actually like it. But it's specific to me, so I really, really do.

Just saw this, it fairly sums up stuff. Sometimes truth and reality can actually be this simple.

Stolen from a fair babe of a kid with a sweet rhythm in his head
http://phrases-for-the-young.blogspot.com/


"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves."
-Salma Hayek

You're a person.

And I'm a person. And therefore we must be alike in some way.
People shouldn't be mean to other people without understanding why someone is the way they are, I learnt that the not-so-easy way. I am true believer that someone's personal life can effect their day-to-day behaviour. As far as I can tell people aren't a certain way for no reason. People are the way they are, and usually it's because someone made them that way. And so, in conclusion, I'm going to try really hard to cut some people some slack. I promise.

I froze today. In the best possible way. I stood outside with the freezing cold literally biting at my bones, and still, still, still I loved every second.