Well then, since I know you'll look;

I miss you. I miss you like crazy. I MISS YOU LIKE FUCKING CRAZY.

Where are you? Who are you? I don't even know! I'm a bit ashamed because I worry that the fact that I'm losing you is my fault. I want so much to talk to you about how I've changed. I want to hear your silly, amazing stories and have you sing and dance for me every morning like we used to. I want to have sleepovers where we don't do much other than talk. I want you to tell me that I'm being a bit dumb because I don't have anyone else who does that. I want your honesty and your love back. I want you to question me when I say things that you know I don't mean, or don't have any justification for. I want you to provoke real thoughts about real people in my sometimes tiny brain. I want you to laugh at me and love me. I am so, so worried that we won't try and that the end of this year will come and you will leave and we will never have this time back. I am worried that we will look back on salmon eating tax days and wonder how we were ever so close. I miss you!! I know it's my fault that we're distant. And we both know why that is. And I am so so sorry, but I'm silly and fleeting and imperfect and a bit weak. So look, I've been thinking about this for a while. I need you back in my life and I am sick and tired of not making an effort, so here is the first of many: come and see Antigone with me. We could have a sleepover afterwards? Or if not, we'll have one in the holidays.

I know you're busy but you better try to make some room for me in your amazing life, because I will not stop muscling my way in. I don't care if I piss you off, I refuse to let go. So there. Prepare to be hounded Moo. I am not giving up.