I usually think pretty thoughts.

I am now going to dump something really heavy on you, but don't take this the wrong way because I think it is important for people to think about.

Recently my Pa (as in Grandpa) was diagnosed with cancer. I am not writing this to make people feel sorry for me or even because it made me sad. I am writing this because it made me think. It made me think a few things, none of which I particularly liked, but all of which I think are important. The main one was that I realised the fleeting nature of life. That sounded fairly pretentious and wanky, but that's really the most concise way that I can think to put it. To understand, you have to understand my Pa. Everytime I see him he'll tell me a new story about his life. Some are interesting, some are not. The point is, that all of those things happened. And though I feel like they happened a long time ago, for him they are clear memories. For him they could have happened yesterday. And now, nearing the end of what I see as a long life, he is probably realising that it has happened in a snap. And I think that this is very beautiful, don't get me wrong. It's just...I am going to be really honest. It's just that it scares me. Don't get me wrong or something, I have decided that I am definitely not scared of death. I can't imagine anything afterwards and this feels kind of calm. Death I can easily accept. And I know I am not scared of life. I have realised that what I am scared of is the moment before death. I am scared that I will be in that moment and look back on my miniscule lifetime and feel like I haven't lived. There it is. That is the truth.

I'm sorry about that, but I felt the need to share. And I feel that if I told someone that in person then they would be bored. I feel better now. Excellent :)Other than that, I had an absolutely stunning weekend. I meant to do methods homework tonight though. Oh internet, how well you distract me
Farewell followers ;)